APRIL FOOLS: Of mice, men, and gainz

A solution was recently found to one of science’s most puzzling conundrums. Read on, and share our excitement!

Written by Wyatt Brown
Last Updated:

The Problem

A cure for cancer has been found, and common supplements — such as glutamine — can melt body fat and increase muscle mass.[1][2][3] 

In rats.

And mice.

Then come human studies, which yield nowhere near the same results.

While rodent studies bring valuable insight, science-savvy people know better than to make a big deal of the latest mouse miracle. They’ll exchange a wry smile and say, “If only we were mice, we’d have a cure for everything, by now.” It’s a recurring joke.

But does it have to be a joke?

The Solution

Think about it: Scientists have “humanized” mice for research purposes for years. We’ve even developed special strains of mice that lack much of their immune systems so that they can be reconstituted with human cells.

The next step is obvious, though no one has yet dared take it!

Or rather, no one had, until very recently, when we tasked Bill Willis to assemble a super-team of researchers to run an experiment — the results of which will have earth-shattering implications for your body composition.

Bill and his team used CRISPR technology to perform genome-wide gain-of-function screens in cultured human fat and muscle cells. Their goal? Identifying mouse proteins that would allow common supplements to induce mouse-like gains in human cells.

The Science

We won’t bore you with the details, but they identified a new protein, which they called “Mouse Factor 7” (MF7). This protein, when exposed to human cells, unlocked mouse-like gains from the likes of CLA, HMB, glutamine — pretty much everything they tested.

When we inspected tissue samples under a microscope, we were floored. In the first four weeks, obvious mousification had taken place:

Myocytes after 4 weeks

But we weren’t prepared for what was to come:

Myocytes after 12 weeks

An exciting collaboration!

And now for the really big news. We’ll be collaborating with Mickey Therapeutics, a new biotech startup out of Orlando, to make MF7 commercially available in two different forms:

Daily capsule

Taken orally, MF7 has decent bioavailability and only moderate liver toxicity. Just one capsule a day, and you’ll be seeing steroid-like gains from CLA, HMB, glutamine, and other common supplements — with less than half the liver damage caused by a course of stanozolol.

Yearly injection

We’ve packaged the MF7 cDNA into a convenient adeno-associated virus vector: AAV9.[4] Forget the fuss of daily capsules! For a whole year, you’ll be harnessing the power of gene therapy (and common supplements) to shed fat and build muscle like the best lab mice!

Disclaimer

In the initial trials, a small number of participants exhibited nocturnal sleep/wake cycles (great if you’re a shift-worker!), increased grooming behavior, and minor ear elongation (barely noticeable, really).

DO NOT take if you have a cat in your home, work in the cheese industry, or plan on ever having children.

Click here to stock up on MF7!

💪🐭

References

  1. ^ Diogo Antonio Alves de Vasconcelos, et al. Oral L-glutamine pretreatment attenuates skeletal muscle atrophy induced by 24-h fasting in mice. J Nutr Biochem. (2019)
  2. ^ Gustavo D Pimentel, et al. β-Hydroxy-β-methylbutyrate (HMβ) supplementation stimulates skeletal muscle hypertrophy in rats via the mTOR pathway. Nutr Metab (Lond). (2011)
  3. ^ Y Park, et al. Effect of conjugated linoleic acid on body composition in mice. Lipids. (1997)
  4. ^ Julie M Crudele, Jeffrey S Chamberlain. AAV-based gene therapies for the muscular dystrophies. Hum Mol Genet. (2019)